What Pets Can Teach Us About Marriage

Well, what Pets can teach us about marriage is quit simple, most Dogs are more loyal then then 498a Coodhi's, pets will always be there through thick and thin no matter what, I dont know if I can say that about a wife? Pets are happy if you give them simply a Bone and are very satisfied where ever you take them, same cant be said about 498a Coodhi's. Conclusion Coodhi's are better then 498a Coodhi's.

June 2, 2010

Media

Do you greet each other with excitement, overlook each other’s flaws and easily forgive bad behavior? If it’s your pet, the answer is probably yes. But your spouse? Probably not.

In an article on PsychCentral, clinical psychologist Suzanne B. Phillips of Long Island University explores what our relationships with pets can teach us about our relationship with a spouse or romantic partner.

“What is interesting in my work with couples is that although couples may vehemently disagree on most topics, they usually both soften in manner and tone to agree that the dog, cat, bird or horse is great,” Dr. Phillips writes.

She argues that we all have much to learn from the way we love our pets. People often describe pets as undemanding and giving unconditional love, when the reality is that pets require a lot of time and attention, special foods and care. They throw up on rugs, pee in the house and steal food from countertops. Yet we accept their flaws because we love them so much.

Dr. Phillips suggests we can all learn how to improve our human relationships by focusing on how we interact with our pets. Among her suggestions:

Greetings: Even on bad days, we greet our pets with a happy, animated hello, and usually a pat on the head or a hug. Do you greet your spouse that way?

Holding grudges: Even when our pets annoy us by wrecking the furniture or soiling the floor, we don’t stay mad at them.

Assuming the best: When our pets make mistakes, we don’t take it personally and are quick to forgive. We give them the benefit of the doubt. Yet when our spouse does something wrong, we often react with anger and blame.

“The old expression ‘you get what you give’ may apply here,” writes Dr. Phillips. “Maybe you give something very positive to your pet that invites the unconditional love and connection that makes you feel so good. Maybe it has potential to enhance your relationship.”

Justice on deathbed in India

The enforcement of gender biased Matrimonial laws like DV, 498a, 125Cr.Pc., divorce, child custody etc. has made Justice for husbands in India a mirage or delusion. These laws has completely hijacked the basic soul of Justice and turned Justice into a white collar mockery. The Government/legislatures has defied almost all the basic principles of Justice in framing & enforcing these laws to please a particular section of society in the name of empowerment. Here is the distortion of basic principles of Justice by Indian Government or legislatures:

A) Many guilty can be let off, in order to save one innocent.

Many are falsely implicated to facilitate one unscrupulous.

B) Innocent till proven guilty

Just reverse, Guilty till proven innocence.

C) Protection of Fundamental rights of individual.

Constitution of India allows special enforcement/provisions favoring special class may be on gender base.

D) Justice to be done based only on Evidences.

Mere statement of presumed victim is enough.

E) Accused reserves the right to defend

He has to defend himself only after arrest/jail.

F) Right of equality & fairness.

Shadowed by pseudo empowerment of women

G) Onus of proving his/her case is on the complainant.

Complainant is presumed victim, hence onus is on accused to prove complainant wrong.

H) Justice delayed is justice denied

Delay necessary to force husband to succumb to one-sided compromise.

I) Suppression of facts to be discouraged.

Sympathy & unduly pampering overrides suppression of facts.

J) Conduct of party is of paramount importance

Question does not arises being presumption of victim/ weaker sex.

K) The right to be heard by an unbiased authority

Special provisions in laws and presumption in society automatically forfeits this right.

L) Wrong doer must get punishment.

How is it possible when wrong doer is presumed victim or weaker sex?

To be a Husband in INDIA !

First of all , Your WELCOME to the FOOL’s PARADISE. Here is the HEAVEN you have entered in:



(i) You carries VERY BAD PAST KARMA DEBIT which made you marry in India.


(ii) Your FORE & FOREFATHER has done too much atrocities on women.


(iii) You don’t have any kind of RIGHTS but definitely you will have to discharge hell lot of RESPONSIBILITIES.


(iv) Your JOURNEYwith your parents & siblings is over.


(v) You CAN NOT COMPLAIN as t he Man knows no pain.


(vi) You cannot OUTBURST IN EMOTION as it does not suit the Man.


(vii) TRUTH cannot be at your side.


(viii) You are a DOWRY SEEKER and WIFE BEATER.


(ix) You are the only perpetuator of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.


(x) You can not BE CAPABLE for raising your children well.


(xi) You are SOLELY REPONSIBLE for earning, maintaining and protecting the family even after BREAKUP of family.


(xii) You are a FREE ATM MACHINE.


(xiii) You and only can be ADULTEROUS.


(xiv) You are bound to BOW TO scrupulous wishes of your wife.


(xv) FAILED MARRIAGE is your sole responsibility.


And then


(xvi) Last but not least, still, you have to live with the BIGGEST MYTH that society is a male dominating society.

No, India can’t be a dowry free State

Many decades has been passed since enforcing of Dowry Prohibition Act,1961, in India but still it is claimed by the NCW and Government that Dowry menace is ever increasing in the society as the cases registered under this Act is increasing. The NCW & Government needs introspection here about their stats and wisdom.


If it’s so, then Why India is not able to eliminate this dowry menace from it’s society ?. Here, I have the answer:

India can’t be a dowry free State

Until National Commission for Women(NCW) is close down or disoriented.


Until Country is not forced to be run by feminists.


Until legislatures change their feministic view about family & marriage matters.


Until Courts realize their duty to take cognizance of Perjury (if any) against parents of bride.


Until the dowry givers are punished.


Until the IPC 498a is scraped.


Until the word “dowry” is used for every trouble caused to a woman.


Until every death of married women is termed as Dowry Death.


Until unscrupulous women are entitled for maintenance.


Until child custody is primarily the right of woman.


Until Domestic violence is attributed only to husband.


Until matrimonial laws are gender biased.


Until Woman Empowerment is done at the cost of womanhood.


Until false allegations has edge over truth legally.


Until Men Welfare Ministry is formed.


Until the existence of myth that India is a male dominating society.


And also

Until a true gender neutral study & research is done on violence in family & matrimonial matters.

Women panel cautions girls against boyfriends

I guess girls are angles and boys are devils. Total hog wash, girls these days are worst then prostitutes in many instances, it is there up bringing, parents are not guiding there children properly so naturally kids go astray.  You cannot expect a Horse to come from a Donkey?

 May 12

Bhubaneswar,  With rise in cases of young girls being exploited by their male friends, State Commission for Women here has asked all college-goers to be careful while being in a relationship. "This is a serious matter and a new trend in Orissa.

We will sensitise girls through a state-wide campaign," SCW Chairperson Jyoti Panigrahi told reporters. During the campaign the girls will be told to be careful while being in a relationship with boy, she said.

The initiative comes in the wake of a number of girls, committing suicide or attempting to end their lives after being ''blackmailed'' by their boyfriends. A 22-year-old girl committed suicide last year in Cuttack after she found her objectionable pictures in a CD allegedly made by her male friend.

He was later arrested by police. Three more girls fell victim to pornographic CD racket in Dhenkanal district last month.

In all the cases, the boys were in "relationship" with the girls, Panigrahi said. A similar incident came to light in Balangir district.

A girl in Dhenkanal recently attempted suicide after finding her objectionable pictures in a CD available in the local market, she said. In a message to parents, the SCW of Orissa chairperson also advised them to be friendly with their growing daughters so that they can openly discuss about their acquaintances, friends and relationships.

The SCW had sought help of the police to curb the menace.

Dowry case: HC stays order against Prez kin

June 3: The Karnataka High Court on Thursday stayed the proceedings of the lower court against Rahul G. Patil, nephew of President Pratibha Patil, in a case of dowry harassment till July 8. Justice B. Sreenivase Gowda, who heard the plea by Mr Patil to quash summons issued by the lower court, posted the case for hearing on July 7.

A compliant lodged by Prachi Singh Patil against her husband Rahul Patil states that before their wedding, Rahul’s mother had demanded a Honda City car, which was turned down by her mother. Prachi had filed cases of cruelty and harassment for dowry at Byappanahalli police station along with a case under the domestic violence Act with the metropolitan magistrate court in Mayo Hall.

Rahul had approached the high court to nullify the proceedings of the metropolitan magistrate court.

INFO AT GUV OFFICE

Advocate General Ashok Harnahalli informed the Karnataka High Court on Thursday that affidavits of support submitted by Janata Dal (Secular) legislators to facilitate formation of the first BJP government in Karnataka in 2007 will be furnished to a city-based advocate within four weeks. Mr M.K. Vijay Kumar, an advocate, had sought these affidavits through RTI.

Justice Ram Mohan Reddy on Thursday recorded this submission made by the Advocate General and made a direction to the Governor’s office to furnish the affidavits to the petitioner within four weeks.

Made in heaven, broken on earth

Jun 3, 2010 

PATNA: It is said marriages are made in heaven. But perhaps broken on earth. At the rate the ancient institution is crumbling, couples are thinking twice before tying the holy knot. And, interestingly, love marriages are more at risk than arranged ones. According to records, 50 per cent of love unions crack, while only 30 per cent arranged marriages end up in divorce courts.

“Even a small issue can result in a break-up these days,” said a lawyer, adding, “most women are working and if they are not treated as equals by their husbands, there’s bound to be resentment and later a rift. Adultery and extra-marital affairs are other reasons of discord among couples.”

According to a marriage counsellor, lack of faith, trust, suspicion, impotency and understanding are also taking a toll on marriages. Even ego clashes, especially if the wife is better placed, creates tension between couples.

According to Arvind Tiwari, a lawyer in a family court, women are now not thinking twice before taking up matters to the court. “They know they can demand alimony (one-third of the husband’s property) and then lead a normal, peaceful life.”

In 2009, 1,36,000 marriages were solemnised in Delhi. Out of this figure, 10,000 ended up in divorce courts!

Many are of the opinion that certain sections of the law in favour of women, are being misused. For instance, cases registered under sec 498 A IPC dealing with cruelty and torture in a marriage, have become a tool to harass husbands and their family members.

“The lawyers hardly try to help. They make things worse,” felt Ajit Kumar, a Patna high court lawyer.

But ever since the Domestic Violence Act, 2008, came into vogue, cases under 498 A have gone down in number.

According to him, 80 per cent of the “arranged” marriages have a chance of survival even after a rocking dispute. But in love marriages, there’s very little chance of reconciliation. “In a social set up like ours only 10 per cent go for re-marriages and only 5 per cent of the cases get settled through mutual consent. The rest of the cases go for protracted contests, mostly over alimony,” said Kumar.

Narrating his traumatic experience, a former scientist of the Department of Atomic Energy, Deepak (name changed) said, “No one is a winner after a divorce. The legal advice for both sides further fuels tension. In my case, my former wife could not handle her ambition and home. She never joined me in my place of posting for seven long years. Even after our divorce in 2000, she continued to harass my family in different ways.” He was forced to remarry to overcome the trauma and feels because of him his son and wife are suffering.

Eminent sociologist Hetukar Jha feels divorce can create psychological and social problems. “The very word divorcee itself is humiliating and agonising. The loneliness caused after the break up can be killing,” he said. According to Jha, the basic problem in today’s world is that everybody talks of rights but no one talks about duties.

An “Open Court” to listen the cases of husbands

30 May 2010

30 May : “Family Harmony Society® organized a “OPEN COURT” at its weekly NGO meeting on Sunday (23rd May 2010) in Indira Nagar Park to listen the cases of harassed husbands at the hands of violent and aggressive wives.

About Family Harmony Society®: “Family Harmony Society®” FHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us please visit www.family-harmony.org / www.498a.org.in.

“Stories of harassment and torture poured in at the “Open Court” organized to hear the painful and harrowing stories of husbands who claimed are victims of domestic violence at the hands of their arrogant and aggressive wives.” says president of FHS, P Suresh.

He further added that “Those days are gone when wives used to claim victims of domestic violence. Now the time has taken a full circle and the 21st century girl is modern, well educated, working, earning handsome salaries and rubbing shoulder to shoulder with male colleagues.”

M Mahesh who is General Secretary of the NGO and who also heard the cases says “The biggest problem in the society in Indian context is ‘Disintegration of families’ due to alarming rate of increase in divorce.”

He further adds that “A financially and socially independent women nowadays is not ready to accept IN-LAWS in the house and wants to have nuclear family with husband and children alone. This is breaking the century old Indian system of ‘Joint family’ which used to give security and safety to each member of the ‘joint family’ at any point of time in life”

P Suresh says “Today we received a case of a tailor, who earns a monthly salary of 4000/- per month by stitching old cloths and his wife has put a false case of dowry harassment and Domestic Violence. He was arrested and was in jail for 45 days. Also the wife is claiming a monthly of 8000/- rs. If the husband is sitting in jail then how can he earn and feed his family?” asks P Suresh”

“The tailor was in tears, shock and trauma but after meeting other victims and listing to their stories he became little composed as he realized he is not alone who has been falsely implicated by misusing dowry laws and domestic violence laws which were created by parliament with good intentions to help needy women”

Raghevendra Naik who is ‘Public Relation Officer’ of the NGO says that “Laws made by the parliament for the needy women are being heavily misused by the Greedy women and adds that is the reason 98% of the dowry cases filed by the women are proved false in the court of law as the petty matrimonial disputes are being converted into false criminal cases.”

Prasad who came from Mysore to attend the “Special hearing for husbands” says that “My wife was having an extra martial affair with her college mate and when I found she slapped a false dowry case on me. I am earning well and I have not taken a single paise from my in-laws but police won’t listen to me saying, We have to register the case as it is from a women else we will be in problem if your wife complains to higher officer”

With tears flowing down his cheeks Prasad further adds that “No one listen to us as we are husband and in this country it is assumed that only women can be victim of domestic violence. My life is spoiled and in the name of protecting women police has registered a case against my mother also. Is my mother not a Women? Does Women means only young and newly married wife?” He asks these questions and breaks down.

Shivalingaiyya who came all the way from hassan says that “I was looking for a suitable girl for me after I got separated from my first wife amicably and took mutual consent divorce. I came to know about this girl who was a widow. We had initial discussion when we came to know that she was the one who has killed her husband and she was in jail too. So I told them that I am not interested but to by utter shock on a fine morning that girl, her brother, parent and few more rowdies landed at my house early morning at 5 am and forced me to tie thaali around her neck and took pictures and then left”.

“Then after few days they filed a false case of dowry harassment against me. I am thankful to the police that they did honest investigation and gave a report to the court that I am innocent and have been falsely implicated in the case” added Shivalingaiyya who is still unable to come out of the shock and trauma.

P Suresh says that “Shivalingaiyya was probably lucky to get a favorable report from police who did free and fair investigation but that is not true in most of the cases. Police is under pressure from women organization and they do not want to be seen against women and that’s why in most of the cases they file ‘charge-sheet’ against husband and his family and wash their hand saying it is a family problem so go and fight in the court”.

M Mahesh says that “Almost all the High Courts and supreme court have acknowledged that Dowry laws are being heavily misused by women to settle score with the estranged family. Recently Union ministry of home affairs has issued a circular and guidelines to all the state governments to be very careful in registering the dowry cases as they are receiving large number of complaints regarding misuse of dowry and related laws”.

So what is way out? Should the women related laws be scrapped?

“No, there is no need to scrap these laws but there needs to be checks and balances to see that these laws are not misused to settle score with husband and his family. Also these laws should be made ‘gender neutral’ so that those husbands who are victim of domestic violence are also able to lodge complaint against errant wives”. Says P Suresh

He further adds that “Police, Judiciary, Lawyers, Society etc needs to be sensitized about the gravity of the issue. We need to keep in mind that on a false complaint of women, two more women (mother & sister) are arrested by the police. Also police should not use force and harsh language against husband and his family as this proves counter-productive in case the couple wants to stay together again.”

Helpline operated by FHS in Bangalore…

 9880141531, P Suresh, President, Family Harmony Society

 9731569970, M Mahesh, General Secretary, Family Harmony Society

For more information please contact…

P Suresh, President, M Mahesh, General Secretary,

9880141531 9731569970

Woman held for stealing jewellery from mother-in-law

31/05/2010

New Delhi: A 28-year-old woman and her five relatives have been arrested for allegedly stealing jewellery worth over Rs.25 lakh from her mother-in-law's house here, police said Sunday.

"Meetu Talwar and five others, including her mother and brother, were arrested on the charge of stealing jewellery worth Rs.24 lakh and Rs.22,000 cash, which has been recovered from them. The remaining jewellery is still to be recovered," Deputy Commissioner of Police (West) Sharad Aggarwal said, adding that the accused have confessed to their crime.

Talwar lived with her mother-in-law Har Kaur, 75, at their residence at Krishna Park in West Delhi's Tilak Nagar area, while her husband was working in London, police said.

"There was no sign of forced entry into the house May 15, the day robbery took place. Talwar came under police scanner after Har Kaur told us that her daughter-in-law used to manage the house," a senior police officer said.

Talwar was married to Narender, who died after a few years of their marriage. However, she later married Narender's younger brother Nir Mohan, who is currently working in London.

"Talwar told police that she took a large sum of money on interest for the treatment of her late husband Narender. She had also taken a large sum from her maternal aunt Timmy, which she was under pressure to repay. It was due to the pressure of repaying the loan that her brother and mother decided to decamp with the jewellery," Aggarwal said.

Apart from Talwar, the other arrested were identified as her mother Parvinder Kaur, 45, her brother Kamal Singh, 24, aunt Jagminder Kaur, 42, uncle Sukhbir Singh, 55, and a relative Maher Singh, 50.

Woman alleges rape after ex-lover breaks marriage promise

Tuesday June 1, 2010,

 Pune A jilted lover lodged a complaint against her former lover on Sunday after he dumped her and tried to marry someone else. The 29-year-old engineer was in love with Jitendra Vasant Patil , a resident of Nandurbar, for the past four years.

According to the Shivajinagar police, the victim claimed that Patil forced her to have a physical relationship with him, saying he wanted to marry her.

Patil, an interior designer, was introduced to the victim through a common friend in Kothrud in 2006.

The woman, who was working with Infosys in Wakad till April last year, left her job and went back to her home in Nandurbar.

Patil had recently told her he was going on some official business to Delhi but instead went back home to Nandurbar. The victim came to know about Patil's impending marriage with another woman on May 28 through a friend. She registered a complaint the next day in Nadurbar. Patil's marriage was later called off.

"As her lover tried to get married to another girl recently, the victim realized she had been duped and filed a case of rape in Nandurbar police station," said investigating officer PI Maya Bankar. "As the incident happened in Pune and the girl stays in Kothrud, the case was transferred to the Kothrud police station."

The case was later transferred from Kothrud to Shivajinagar police station as the alleged crime occurred under its jurisdiction. Initial investigations revealed that the couple had stayed at various hotels from 2006 till recently, and most of these were in Shivajinagar. Bankar checked with Hotel Dwarka and found Patil and the complainant had stayed there on many occasions in 2006.

"We have sent a team to Nandurbar to arrest Patil," said Bankar.

Divorce by consent before waiting period:SC refers it to bench

 May 30, 2010

Following some of its own conflicting judgements, the Supreme Court has referred to a three-judge bench a crucial question on whether couples can be granted "divorce by mutual consent" before the mandatory waiting period of six months.

A bench of Justices D K Jain and C K Prasad said it was necessary to have a "clear ruling" on the issue as there had been conflicting decisions by different benches of the apex court on the issue.

The reference came in a divorce dispute in which a man named Rakesh Malviya agreed to pay Rs 65 lakh to his estranged wife Neeti after the couple agreed to a divorce under "mutual consent". But they had to fulfil the condition of six months mandatory period before getting the divorce decree.

Sub-section (1) of Section 13-B of the Hindu Marriages Act provides for dissolution of marriage on mutual grounds, if the couple have been living separately for a period of one year or above.

Under the provision, once the petition for divorce under "mutual consent" was filed, the parties have to wait for a six months period before another application is moved jointly for getting the decree of divorce.

In the Anjana Kishore Vs Puneet Kishore case, a three-judge bench of the apex court waived off the six month period for granting the decree of divorce by exercising its extraordinary powers under Article 142 of the Constitution.

Article 142 empowers the Supreme Court to pass any order or judgement for rendering justice to individuals and others.

Thereafter, a number of high courts and even matrimonial courts started granting divorce decrees without waiting for the mandatory period.

Subsequently, in the Anil Kumar Jain vs Maya Jain case, another three-judge bench opined that only the Supreme Court has the power to waive off the six month period and not the high courts, much less the matrimonial courts.

However, in the Manish Goel and Poonam case, another three-judge bench held that even the Supreme Court cannot waive off the six months period under Article 142 as the power cannot be exercised in contravention of the statutory provisions provided under section 13-B(2).

"Under Article 142 of the Constitution, this court cannot altogether ignore the substantive provisions of the statute and pass orders concerning an issue which can be settled only through a mechanism prescribed by a statute," the bench had ruled at that time.

In view of the conflicting judgements, the two-judge bench referred "the matter to a bench of three judges in order to have a clear ruling on the issue for future guidance."

His family wanted dowry: Airhostess

Mumbai, May 31, 2010

The 22-year-old airhostess from Jet Airways, who had alleged that she had been raped by a pilot from the same airlines on the false promise of marriage, claimed his family had made demands for dowry.

The victim’s family alleged that the pilot discontinued the relationship as his father had threatened to disown him if he married the girl without dowry.

The Powai police arrested Varun Agrawal (27) on Saturday after his flight landed in Mumbai. Both the accused and the victim are from the same town in Uttaranchal.

The victim’s complaint said that she met Agrawal in February 2008.

“Agrawal’s family owns lots of property in Uttaranchal and his father, who was opposed to the relationship, threatened him that if he married me, he would not get any share,” the victim said, adding that his mother initially liked her a lot and treated her well.

The victim's mother said that their family met the Agrawals’ in 2008 to discuss the marriage at their native place at Kashipur.

“We met his parents in the presence of two of his uncles. They said they wanted us to be happy and were not opposed to the marriage,” the victim's mother told Hindustan Times.

“However, his father said there was no reason why he should marry his son to my daughter as families of several girls had approached him with dowry offers worth more than Rs 1 crore,” she added.
The victim claimed that Agrawal had forced her into a physical relationship. “I had begged that I would not have a sexual relation with him until he married me but he forced himself against my wishes,” she said.
When she told him that she would commit suicide, he forced her to write a suicide note and kept it with him.
“He would harass me physically, verbally abuse me and had even threatened to kill me. I told his brother about it, but he did nothing,” she said.
She said it was Agrawal’s friend who encouraged her to lodge a complaint.
The Bandra court on Sunday remanded Agrawal to police custody till June 5.

The Case

A Jet Airways pilot, Varun Agrawal (27), was arrested on Saturday for allegedly raping a 22-year-old airhostess he was having a live-in relationship with.
The victim said she was not ready for a physical relationship but relented after Agrawal promised to marry her.
He, however, refused after his father raised objection.

Man kills four of wife's family over dowry case

May 30th, 2010

 Share Buzz up!Tags: Amberpet, dowry case, murder, revenge In a gruesome incident here, four members of a family were murdered by their son-in-law and his relatives early on Sunday, police said.

Six assailants hacked to death four people in a house at Premnagar in Amberpet neighbourhood. Another person sustained serious injuries and is battling for life in hospital, police said.

Qamruddin, his wife Sajida Begum and two other family members Abdullah Begani and Abdullah Kirmani were killed in the attack. Qamruddin's daughter Afreen, wife of the main accused, is in critical condition.

Police said while one person died on the spot, three others succumbed to the their injuries in hospital.

After the murders, Jehangir, son-in-law of Qamruddin, and his brother went to the police station where they surrendered. Police also arrested their four other relatives who helped them in committing the crime.

Jehangir, who separated from his wife following a marital dispute, said he committed the crime to take revenge for a dowry harassment case filed by Afreen against him.

Police is investigating.